Ticket Booking Warrior Gifts

'Doing a degree? No, I'm trying to book a train ticket.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

Teddy Bears Picnic - Tickets on sale here.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"General, last night while we were here, encamped for concert tickets, the enemy encamped across the river for theatre tickets."

Now Playing: Christmas ? The Ultimate feel-Good Musical!

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

Meter Maid

"So then the boss said - 'The way you've been playing lately, next week I'm putting you in a new position'."

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

'Say, are you the elusive walleye from Big Bear lake?'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

'If you're in short pants it's only 50p. Long pants £1.'

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"I'm so overscheduled. If it weren't for timeouts, I'd have no free time at all."

'We accept payment by cash, card or an arm and a leg.'

Mr. Maynard, had you heard that Sean Hannity is coming to the Civic Auditorium? Naturally. I have two tickets to his speech. Would you like to join me? Would you like me to join you? Of course. That's why I asked. Good, then my ticket will be free. Well played, stingy entrepreneur. You're kind to notice.

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"You're in the upper, upper, UPPER balcony."

Ticket Trout

Senior Prelate's Rail-Card

And you call yourself a scalper.

Russian doll...

'And here's a ticket for speeding in the parking lot.'

'I assumed the warning about nudity referred to the movie.'

"How much!!!?!"

Ticket prizes...

'All Dressage tickets have gone, but I managed to get two for Beach Volleyball instead.'

'This is my finest hour!'

'Do you have specials terms for students?'

Virgin Trains - "Don't they go all the way then?"

'I applied for 80,000 tickets in the ballot.'

'Patience, patience, I'm sure it's in here somewhere...'

Subway Series