Throne Lover Gifts

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

The Queen

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Dragon Hair-dryer.

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"It is we."

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

"I really start dragon around 3 o'clock."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

Chinese stock market

Milkin' Impossible

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Mathematics lesson - Equilateral triangle, isoceles triangle, obtuse triangle, and bermuda triangle.

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

Beware of the Dragon

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

"And how long till they start saying the 'Great' after my name."

Building a sandcastle and children's imagination.

'There! I'm a sucker for realpolitik!'

' I don't think we're in Kansas any more ...'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

With all of the drone traffic, Santa had to replace Rudolph with Randolph the radar-nosed reindeer!

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

'... And I've been meaning to talk to you, about what I found floating in the moat this morning!'

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

I love thunderstorms!

The king is angry you build right on a fault line, and he didn't think it was funny when you called it a "bouncy castle."

"I'll have you know that I'm not breathing fire at all. I'm having a vape."

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

"We both knew this day would come."