Throne Aficionado Gifts

Dog steals the throne.

A king returns to his throne to find his dog sitting on it wearing his crown.

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

"It is we."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

Gadzook used armour. Only one careful owner.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"The damsels, the knights, I guess I'm just burnt out."

Oh, the armor is state of the art

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

"It beats flying for your food."

Thor's Other Tools

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

I only built the moat to keep the cats out.

'This is the emergency drone speaking...get out of the way, as of now you are replaced!'

The Queen

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'You're the king now. It's time to put the past behind you.'

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance tyhe budget.'

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

"I think he said he doesn't want to be your press secretary any more."

Knight Vision

'First you must prove your worthiness.'

"Meaning of life!!" "Meaning of 'Game of Thrones' series finale"

"Darn technology."

Poetry Knight

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."