Throne Collector Gifts

Royal Furniture Makers. And this model comes with a handy storage compartment. We call it a "throne's stow"!

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

The Victors

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The one that got away

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Award Winning Gardener

Bribes for Jabs

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

"It is we."

"... and what’s even worse – I spilled my beer!"

Neptune

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Dad Trophies

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Win - win

Spaceman looking out of the window of his spaceship at planets.

'Guess what? I won again.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

Pinata Trophies

His cubicle had come to be known as 'Teddy Bear Heaven'.

First Prize!

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

'I finished last, but I was the only one who passed the drug test.'