Thoughtful Debater Gifts

"Faith" is the sound your mouth makes when your brain is not strong enough to use logic.

"Did you get what you wanted for Christmas?"

"My grandmother died last night even though I prayed for her..." "...I guess I should brace myself for a sarcastic comment about faith."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"Why should our kids feel entitled to the lives our parents worked so hard to provide for us?"

"I could've been a contender.'

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

A Neutral Observer

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

"When I grow up, I'll still be religious."

"Why not use thoughts and prayers to stop abortions? That's what you've been using to stop school shootings."

Prisoner speech

'Do you think that's wise?'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Difference of Opinion

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.

"George we don't have an opposing point of view!"

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Evangelical Political Influence

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

Tucker Carlson

"The problem with facts is that they get in the way of ignorance."

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

'Only mindless sheep watch Fox News!'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'