Sharp-tongued Debater Gifts

"He spends half his time trying to be witty."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Do you think that's wise?'

Difference of Opinion

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

'I was on my way to Heaven, when they stumbled across my blog...'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

"George we don't have an opposing point of view!"

Prisoner speech

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

Evangelical Political Influence

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

Tucker Carlson

"Curses! You have thwarted my science-based argument by quoting scripture! I'm melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! AAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..."

'That's one hell of a lawyer.'

"The problem with facts is that they get in the way of ignorance."

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

"Saying you're moral because you believe in God is like saying you're a soldier because you play 'Call of Duty'."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

"Advantage, Mom."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Only mindless sheep watch Fox News!'