Themed Dinner Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You do like octopus?"

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Am Awful Crammer.

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Waiter in resturant sawing violin.

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

"You and your daft inventions."

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four