Themed Dinner Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You do like octopus?"

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

'Who gets the decaf?'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Well I wouldn't eat it, but don't let that put you off."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

Restaurant. One thing you can still get for a single dollar is the waiter's opinion of you.

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

Am Awful Crammer.

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

'I don't have enough money for a tip, but feel free to eat the leftovers!'

"We make substitutions within reason, Madame. We can give you courgettes instead of the aubergine, but we cannot provide Jean-Louis Trintignant in place of your husband."

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

'A HAMBURGER?.. really?.. I took you for the WEENIE type!'