Dinner Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'I came home with $44.75, just enough to pay for dinner out.'

So, what should we have for dinner tonight, Darlene? What? How about tofu burgers? You know how we love those. We? I could barbecue, we could invite the Johnsons and the Changs, and then maybe we could all cool off in the pool, throw some darts

'The mutton dinner? -- and you a SHEEP DOG?'

"Today a recorded message told me my call was important to them. How was your day?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Life is for the birds.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"You do like octopus?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Romantic Violinist.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

Benihana style of cooking.

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

Chicken Little was correct about something falling, unfortunately, it was an axe, and not the sky.

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Who gets the decaf?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'