Diner Enthusiast T-Shirts

That comes with a side? Okay, I'll have the freedom fries... No scratch that. Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled mashed potatoes.

"There. Fly problem: solved. You need anything else, or can I go back to my break?"

Choice hellhole

"What do you have that's rich in antioxidants?"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

'Don't look so surprised, Al... Bears often wander into town searching for food!'

"My whole life stretches out before me as a series of egg-white omelettes."

'There ya go...Three coffees, Sure you don't wanna make that a bottomless cup?'

'.....sunnyside down.'

'The bill, you're joking! I never used to pay my mum.'

Smoking or non-smoking?

Diner Coffee/Coughy

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

'Are these eggs fresh enough for you?'

"I'm the chef." "I'm the Health Inspector."

"I got the idea from them fancy restaurants that cook your food at the table...."

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"I like this place. You can get the Early Bird Special all day."

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"Moist towelette to cleanse your palate?"

Doreen's Diner

"That couple behind me seem happy enough. Laughing, bantering. Probably holding hands. Not a care in the world. I hate them. The waitress is cute. No eye contact however. And the coffee is cold. She hates me."

"Uh-oh."

"A number of items on that menu are consistently chosen by an overwhelming majority of the American people."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"The wrangler within wants pancakes."

"I don't think this is a diner about being a diner. I think this is just a diner."

"We use the cheapest ingredients and pass the savings on to you."

"I'll have the Blue Plate Special. The ball is now in your court."

"What I really feel like having is ham and eggs."

"I made a bid for the Senate, but this is as far as I got."

Ben & Muriel's (Formerly Ben & Mary's)

"It was a cold night, like tonight, back, I'd say, in 1954."

"Yeah, single origin coffee -- from this pot."

"Nothing's special today."