Diner Aficionado T-Shirts

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"The leftovers sound good."

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

'We hope you enjoy your stay at the Menopause Cafe. Careful, your plate and waitress may be hot.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

'Are you still doing that goldfish canary combo?'

'Don't start with that werewolf baloney, Jake...There ain't even a moon out tonight.'

"Ranch, creamy Italian, French, or global?"

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

"Sorry—our counter is reserved for lone dudes staring at their phones in silence."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

"Business sure picked up since the highway went through."

"This place is famous for the way they serve eggs."

"Served with the iconic topping of lettuce, tomato and onion."

MKT Diner

"Same old slop, Lou?"

"What's the most expensive maul you have?"

"Plate tectonics is going to kill us all."

"Pretentious little place, isn't it?"

"Can I get you a cup of coffee before you realize you're in hell?"

"Here - Orders for chili have to be put into writing."

House of Waffling

Highlights of the tasting menu at the diner...

'A number one!'

'Yes, we do serve children, but not as meals.'

"Sorry. We not longer accept payment in the form of 'Bawdy ballads of ribaldry and adventure.'"

"Lady!!! Could we turn down the A.C.?!"

Restaurant: 'Top o' the Food Chain' (Unapologetic American Cuisine)

Here come the bears again, Larry.

The Tedious Adventures of Mr. Sloth...

'The 'early bird special' is what it always is sir, worms.'