Diner Aficionado T-Shirts

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

"The leftovers sound good."

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

'We hope you enjoy your stay at the Menopause Cafe. Careful, your plate and waitress may be hot.'

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Are you still doing that goldfish canary combo?'

'Too much hazel, not enough nut.'

'Don't start with that werewolf baloney, Jake...There ain't even a moon out tonight.'

'You want the chili? - Have you had all your shots?'

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

'Excuse me, but this spoon isn't greasy.'

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

"Shows how strong our coffee is."

Diner - Chili, or something a whole lot like it...

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup,,,'

'Damn - I didn't think this place was interested in calories.'

'Roast chicken £4.' 'Pensioners £3.'

'Do you have a longer straw?'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

Breakfast special: Eggs Benedict Arnold, $2.99: 'Yesterday's Eggs Benedict'

Primal Soup Dujour: 'Brackish marsh'.

'Coaster Pauly, coaster.' - Mob rule

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

'Keep on trucking man... or don't... you know, depending on which you'd rather do.'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'I'll try the lumberjack slam.'

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Todays special is yesterday's catch of the day."

"Pi and mash squared please."

The Late Bird: Worms Served 24 HRS a Day.

Joe's Diner - Messy Eaters Welcome

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"We have a small menu..."