Dining Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Lobster fork.'

"The homework here is delicious!"

"It says, 'There are people waiting for your table.' "

Dining Infraction, Too Much Tabouli on the Tie!

"The food's good, and although I've asked them not to, over and over, they always make a big fuss."

You've got to quit sneaking up on us like that!"

Life is for the birds.

'We always get the worst table.'

"Let's eat out for a change."

'Today's special is that the cook finally cleaned the grill.'

No fly tipping.

Waiter carrying a smoking plate to a table of firefighters.

"It's an unpretentious little eatery..."

Food left unattended will be eaten by waiter.

"Well, I don't think it is your constitutional right to interrupt my dinner with a sales call."

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'A cheeky red?'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Hi, I'm Pop!"

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

'Who gets the decaf?'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"