Theme Dinner Aficionado T-Shirts

"God, I hate theme dinners."

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

"Deep-dish pizza calls for deep-glass beer."

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

"....and hold the garlic."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

"Wow!"