Spooky Dinner Aficionado T-Shirts

'Honestly, dear, brains again?'

At a secluded, candle-lit dinner, love rears its ugly head.

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

'I'm sorry, he likes to let off wind after dinner.'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

"God, I hate theme dinners."

'Congratulations, dear...the squid appears fresh!'

'Who ordered the chef's head?'

"If I were a car, you could find the words."

"I'm NOT pontificating!"

"You want fries with that Chardonnay?"

'How can you hate something you've never tried?!'

The Cold Shoulder: 'What do you give the Cannibal who is late for Dinner?'

'Why don't you stop moaning, and be grateful that mother was kind enough to invite us around for a special halloween supper!'

'How is everything at this table?'

"Pass the salt. I mean the buck."

Creepy Delivery.

Shashlyk

"Hog Hell"

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

"I like the Pasteurs, but my goodness – boiled tomato juice, boiled fish with boiled lettuce, boiled bread, boiled salad..."

'Try to finish it all, our dog ran away.'

Spook cafe special meal.

"I feel so silly. I got dressed in the dark and it was the first thing I grabbed."

Social distance in restaurants

"Excuse me waiter. I think my wife's squid is a little under-cooked."

"Good evening. I am Martha's son by a previous marriage."

Watching TV five hours a day saved Vincents' life.

Man leaving the tavern and realising he is late for dinner

"You're welcome to stay, but the household goes all nude after 9pm."