Spooky Fine-diner T-Shirts

'This must be their seasonal menu. These prices are scary!'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"Regular service or affected?"

"No, my consomme was perfect, but my husbands calamari is a little underdone."

'Tomato ketchup?' 'Well you wanted the house red.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"One spaghetti, and two straws please."

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'The customer is always right...'

"Aperitif?"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would Sir & Madam per chance care to peruse the scratch & sniff dessert menu?'

"I read that meat can remain undigested in one's intestines for five years...."

'This is my kind of Chinese...A chocolate double fudge fortune cookie!'

'How would you like that? Medium, rare, or wrapped in plastic on a foam tray?'

"Perhaps I'm asking too much of you in the way of companionship."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Linguini for two?"

'Waiter, you seem to have mixed my bill up with somebody who wants to buy this restaurant.'

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

"My apologies, but that's not a meatball. That's my computer mouse. I've been looking for it."

"When it's extremely cold out, I prefer flambés to winter stews."

Lunch

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

'Yes, we are dining by candlelight because I thought it would be romantic. And also, because I didn't pay my electricity bill.'

"Dinner looks delicious."

'I'm afraid things are rather confused around here today, sir- the Soup of the Day is a grilled-cheese sandwich'