Theater Usher Gifts

'Look. I don't care if you do work as a theater usher. You can't just tear up any ticket you want!!'

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Gustave Charpentier

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

Ventriloquist's Doll also has a Doll.

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

Captain

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. This is a talent agency, not a lack of talent agency."

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

'Well, what did you expect?'

Pirate King

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

'The magician? I don't know. He seems to have vanished into thin air.'

Hand Rabbit

"So that's it then? Just the one trick?"

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

"Animal sacrifice isn't necessary, son. Just shake out a few dimes."

'I told you Ko-ko that you don't have to even think of retirement - the phone stopped ringing for you years ago!'

Stadium usher of the month.