Theater Usher Gifts

Theater Now Hiring Ushers. I'd be perfect! I love to put people in their place.

Theater Usher Moms.

'Look. I don't care if you do work as a theater usher. You can't just tear up any ticket you want!!'

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Silhouette hawk swooping down to catch a silhouette rabbit.

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

Samuel Beckett

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

"Gasp! Pant! Is it good for you, Marjorie?"

"Is there a dramaturge in the house?"

Gustave Charpentier

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

Half time entertainment at many small clubs was a bit basic.

Ventriloquist's Doll also has a Doll.

Captain

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

'The magician? I don't know. He seems to have vanished into thin air.'

"I'm afraid you've come to the wrong place. This is a talent agency, not a lack of talent agency."

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

Pirate King

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

'Well, what did you expect?'

Hand Rabbit

"So that's it then? Just the one trick?"

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

Stadium usher of the month.

Being married is like working backstage at a magic show.