Movie Theater Usher Gifts

"Lucky for us my dog loves popcorn!"

'It was great. I hated it.'

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Now Playing at the Europlex

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

Cinemuck

"I'm just not in an Australian-movie mood, O.K.?"

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Please do not panic. You're only required to turn off your mobile device during the movie."

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

"Try staying in the same dimension as everyone else."

"Seats in all parts!"

Now Showing - Titanic: Queue Here: Women + Children First.

"I've got a new job, mom! I'm in show business!"

Theater Usher Moms.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

'The funniest movie I have been paid to promote.'

Stadium usher of the month.

"Must be some kind of cult movie."

"Okay. . . Where DID the elephant go?. . ."

'Sure we're concerned about terrorism, but the only bombs we've seen around here are some of the movies we've booked.'

"As your attorney, I advise you not to talk during the movie."

"What's the current return on investment?"

Two great movies on the screen together! Watch Broke Back King Kong.

Cinemaplex

'Say, aren't you the guy who owns the theater I go to? The one with $5 small sodas and $6 popcorn?. . . Well then, you'll understand if my bill for unstopping your sink is $33,000?'

"I flunked out of acting school, but it was good training. I know how to act like I know what I'm doing."

Jumping out of the popcorn queue watching the Matrix.

'She wants to know why we don't clean up the *@#!@* language in our movies.'

'Gee, I didn't know there was a casting couch just to sell POPCORN in the theater...'

'Where's the remote?'