The Grounded Aviator Club Gifts

'I appreciate you desire to volunteer with Pilots Without Borders, but being a flightless bird you haven't enough flying hours to qualify with us.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Recalculating route..."

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Why Superman flies himself

Witch takes off on a runway surrounded by planes.

'So, how was flight school?'

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'Dear sir, thank you for your idea of a helicopter ejection-seat, but...'

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

'I'm happy to report our use of air sickness bags has declined sharply since we quit serving meals.'

Cow Pilot.

"Hi, I'm Jamie Theakston and this is Dogs Might Fly."

"I proclaim this sun-drenched tropical country a new tourist mecca, in the names of Consolidated Airways and the Peck & Smathers Advertising and Public Relations Company."

'The pilot has collapsed! Does anyone here know how to fly?'

"He's a quick learner."

'I wouldn't be so concerned if they weren't already sitting in the exit row.'

Airplane Seatbelts

'Funny thing is, in an infinite universe with infinite possibilities, this is actually happening!'

Old fashioned aeroplane with propeller.

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

The aviation experts come out to play

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

'I think they've taken stealth technology as far as it can go.'

'No hitchhikers!'

"I'm just saying. . . it wouldn't have hurt to check the price of an airline ticket."

Angel learning to fly...

'-but dad, how can a supersonic plane be LATE?'

"It's my emotional support animal."

"I never thought I'd say this, but I kinda miss people."