Bird Lover's Club Gifts

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'The proliferation of bird watchers make me more and more self-conscious...'

Life is for the birds.

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

"You've been so good to us all these years. Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

"When is my next parole hearing?"

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Polluted geese

'Since I'm new here, let's start by clearning the air. You may have noticed that I'm short for a C.E.O. . .'

"Now they're referring to us as ecology nuts."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

'You know too much!'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

Knight feeding his kids.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

Pigeon Little

How about going easy on the carbs

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Son, it's time we had that little talk about ornithology and entomology.'

So you're a mocking bird...

Canada Goose Jackets

Spring Training

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'