Thankful Mathematician Gifts

'Sure. She didn't give us any homework over Thanksgiving, but she knows we'll be counting our blessings.'

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"Oh, stop it. You are not at all obtuse." Complimentary angles make the other angles feel good about themselves.

"But everyone is befuddled by math."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

"I know it may be wrong, but it's how I feel."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"Or we could tally the sheep like this."

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

The theory that ‘Time is Relative' came to the professor during a Decelerated Math Class.

'190 divided by two...'

Jewish Geometry

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'Believe me dad. I'm on the school math team. If your investments declined 50 then increased 50 you did not break even.'

"That was Copernicus on the phone – he says you're NOT the centre of the universe!"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

Math Teacher

"When the teacher explained negative numbers, I suddenly understood how politicians 'deficit spend'."

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'This part was tenure.'

Presentation: Any questions?

"What comes after zillion?"

"Yo, this should be a two."

Yes, I agree that man is a master of his own destiny but sometimes it helps if you pass algebra.