Texting Philosopher Gifts

"No, I don't think this emoji means she has lost her love your you and is in love with someone else."

Texting Monks.

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

The Proust of Twitter

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Woman on the phone.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"I'll have to put you on hold. I have a bite on the other line."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

Modern Portrait Gallery

"Just remember, kid...whether you post on Facebook, Twitter or YouTube...it's all show biz."

'I've got a highspeed connection and I get spam... therefore I am!'

"He just sits there, trying to think of the tweet to end all tweets."

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help the Google?"

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

A Tree Grows In . . . Wherever.

'When I googled myself, and nothing came up, I began to question my own existence!'

'Why are they called the opposite sex?'

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

"Are you busy or are you at work?"

'Women, can't live with 'em, can't live without em.'

Gawk

'I blog, therefore I am.'

I have a homepage, therefore I am.

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"Sorry Peter, but you're just not evolving quickly enough."

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...