Philosophical Texter Gifts

The Thinker idly checking his phone.

In/Out/These Things Happen.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

Chiller Theatre

The Proust of Twitter

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

Optimist

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"I cross the road to forget."

Woman on the phone.

"Is this who I am?"

"How sweet, you texted me. . . I love you too!"

Non Thought For The Day.

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

'Dad, what is peace?'

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Don’t think of that tennis ball as lost. Think of it as finally free."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'Now, until you've attained perfect wisdom, you'll have to learn to evade questions.'

'I respond to stimuli, therefore I ham.'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

How did life begin? Image shows a strand of dna in the form of a question mark (with a single cell as the dot, floating in water or primeval soup). The image also refers to life beyond the earth, with the cell-like blobs resembling galaxies in outer space

Understanding art.

"Never mind 'what does it all mean?' What does anything mean?"

"I'd let you in, but I'm not sure I'm all here today"

'It's not so much you having a cockroach problem - it's more along the lines of us having a human problem.'

'Son, life is a mixed blessing, they eat the fancy nuts and toss us the peanuts.'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"Do you think there's life out there?"

"We were poor and had the good sense to be miserable."