Texting Theologian Gifts

"So, does God always call people to the ministry or can he text too?"

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

"Sword drills just aren't the same since Bible apps."

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

'I'm texting my inner child.'

"If you need me, I'll be in my room watching YouTube videos, texting, Skyping and blowing off my homework."

'No, officer, I wasn't driving erratically while talking on the cell phone. I was text messaging.'

'Does it come with any Apps'

"There is no power button, it's a Bible."

Texting in the Gilded Age.

"He calls it the eBible."

"What format shalt I save these in?"

"My wife is a very emojical person."

'Bummer. When they passed out textbooks, I thought we were going to study text messaging.'

"The bad news is that the voices in my head have started text messaging me."

God sits, wearing a shirt that says "O.M.G."

'I speak three languages, if you include text-ese and my fake British accent.'

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

Turtles Texting Each Other

"If Neil could only be half the man he is in his texts..."

"Well, Rachel... I suppose you could say that Moses downloaded the commandments from the cloud."

'I think you're losing me.'

"I don't need a book that records people's good and evil deeds. Nowadays I just check social media accounts."

"Tell me, where do you expect to be texting incessantly in five years?"