Text Message Juggler Pillows

"Did you get my email?" "Was it the one about your text message?"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

'To cut back on traveling expenses, we're going to start sending you out as an e-mail attachment.'

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Spam in inbox.

Overworked

'Are you going to answer my text message or not?'

"Hello?"

The Communicator

The Emeril Isle

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

Hopkin's for Clinic the Dyslexic

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'He said he knows the letters but he doesn't know the words.'

"We'll have to pick this up later. My plane just went down, sharks ate my personal assistant, and apparently I'm winning some kind of surfing competition."

'Call me back - the old trout's on the other line.'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

'It's for you.'

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Take a message...'

A writer writing humour and tragedy at the same time.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

Woman holding two phones together.

"I wish that they would give omg a break. JMJ (Jesus,Mary and Joseph) have a lot more free time."

Texting in the Gilded Age.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

'Let me put you on ignore ... I mean hold.'

"Gotta go."

Anyone around here answer to the name of 'Sheep-for-brains'?

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"