Texting Juggler Pillows

Man jumping into swimming pool with phone.

"Bed Spread"

Wordplay: In The Bag.

"Hi, you've reached Susan's desk. I am monotasking right now, so I'll call you back it's the phone's turn again. Beep!"

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Hello?"

Overworked

The Communicator

"I'm leaving you, Steven....It's all there in my text message."

"I'm a writer/painter/filmmaker/poet/actor/comedian, manic-depressive goes without saying."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

'And what can you bring to the party?'

Nil by text - "Don't worry, Mr. Smith, we will soon cure your addiction."

"The Chairman will be on shortly, I'm just the warm-up guy."

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

"Yes dear, I know excessive mobile use is dangerous, that's not why I'm calling."

'I wish you wouldn't correct my grammar when you read my diary.'

"Careful how ya handle 'em Joe! They like to follow one another but they kin also turn nasty mighty quick!"

'Take a message...'

'My client should get a shorter sentence since he did use 'Lol'.'

How's the writer's block?

'It's for you.'

"I love my job. It's people laughing at me I can't handle."

"You're gonna love this guy's act. He's, like, 'not funny, funny, not funny.'"

Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. We received a communication fro Alpha Centauri, but it appears they just pocket dialed us.

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'Just had to text and ride, didn't you?'

Woman holding two phones together.

"Normally, we only issue one phone to new hires, but we're bringing you in at a busy time."

Trapeze artists.

Multitasking.

"Gotta go."

I'll go first. this is so stupid. Just try it. Fine. Go first. Commencing text. Beep, No problem. I can do this. Take it. One second. Oh, no. It's coming on. Two seconds … It burns! Give me my phone. U R addict. Still, three seconds. A personal record.