Test Wrangler Gifts

"How'd I do on the test?"

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

I went a little crazy with the pet hair sticky roller.

Flies up the ante!

Believe it or not, I'm sitting her watching the fights. Harry versus the crabgrass, the moles, the insects...

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Can I see your license,please?'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

Skin Deep. Hey, that's my dermatologist! He must be doing pretty well! One man's rash is another man's pleasure!

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Ever wish we were back on Wall Street?'

"No one is making you do anything you don't want. I'm just saying we're all headed for Dodge City and we think you should come along."

'Where do you see yourself not getting tenure in seven years?'

Teacher said the C's she put face up indicate slight improvement.

Targeted opponent

A farmer builds a fence around a very stubborn bull

'They're herding you all over the field! Start playing defense...'

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"This is Ritz Rose, substituting for the vastly over rated Ed Yomp..."

"Looks like we'll be walking today. The horses are staging a sit in."

"Camping is in my blood! I harmonize with the humming of Mother Nature!"

'Dude, according to the strategy guide, you shouldn't defeact Gixaglime and open the gate to Axesworld, or else! I wonder what they mean by or else?'

Computer Confusion

'Honey, did you happen to look behind you, before you walked through that door?'

'How many times have I told you that even if students like them better than you, you can't vaporize substitute-teachers when you return?'

And the ability to handle the catch is essential.

"This internet forum ain't big enough fer the two of us."

Revenge of the Ants.