Rash Wrangler Gifts

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

High Riders of the Old West

'You should have taken up the game earlier.'

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"How'd I do on the test?"

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

"Bye now... it's always nice to see you and little Tommy!"

'No it's still not fixed'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"Today is the day I start the new me!"

Parental Training Course

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Jack started to note how these 'accidents' always occurred after he missed a shot.

'Don't forget. When this photo shoot is over I get a bucket of shiners.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'Loose Nuke Round Up!'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

That's it...It's official. It's now an art installation!

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

'Er...any chance that when you've finished with the kids, the cooking and washing up you could help us develop a new waste management recovery system for the borough?'

'Of course I'm not mad. What makes you think I'm mad?!'

"The thing with tiny kitchens is it's all about stacking, patience and resenting all your previous life choices."

Cat gardener/cleaner about to step on rake

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."