Know-it-all Wrangler Gifts

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

The Baby Walker

"I've outgrown my backpack."

High Riders of the Old West

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"How'd I do on the test?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

The First Day Back

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Nanny with children on leash

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

'Can you make this one disappear?'

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

'It's pouring down rain. . . why don't we go school shopping. . . It would save your mom some trouble if I took you.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'