Know-it-all Wrangler Pillows

One of the lesser known joys of being a fencing instructor.

The Baby Walker

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I've outgrown my backpack."

High Riders of the Old West

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"How'd I do on the test?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

The First Day Back

'No, go ahead and critique my mss. I'm always ok ... after the initial reaction.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

'Did you want me, boss?'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

Nanny with children on leash

"This horse comes with all the hardware necessary to be fully autonomous."

'Would you care to hold until Mr. Jyles is better adjusted.'

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

Why do I need a nap when it's only 8.15 am?

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"What's the problem Cowboy? Never heard of Cattle Driving before?"

"Say, Bart. Break out that ol’ Harmonica App."

Women shopping with children in the trolley.

'Ooo, two strays to add to the database.'

'Dang, we're losing a lot of strays.'

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

'It's pouring down rain. . . why don't we go school shopping. . . It would save your mom some trouble if I took you.'

'Can you make this one disappear?'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."