Test Preppers Gifts

'This is Melanie - She's going to help me study for my sex education test.'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'I really crammed last night.'

'We're all out of flu vaccine - how about something for anxiety...?'

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

S.O.S. vaccine

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Holiday Gifts 2020

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Disasters

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"Last question. Where do you see yourself thirty seconds from now?"

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Trick or Treatment.

'University of Xylongatnyefxodyl - never heard of it!'

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

When a nanosecond is forever.

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

'It's the worst I've seen in this area. Lots of chicken pox going around.'

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."