Test Prepper Gifts

'I hope it's not a matching test. I have trouble with matching tests.'

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

Exam

'I really crammed last night.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Nervous Oral Testing

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Examinations.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"You have a killer resume, Phil, but unfortunately, we have all the dead wood we need right now."

"I'm long term unemployed because jerks like you won't hire me!"

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Prepper Dog

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

Disasters

'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'

"I felt like 'data analyst' sounded better than 'good guesser'."

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

When a nanosecond is forever.