Test Preparer Gifts

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

Exam

'I really crammed last night.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

How come rich kids do so well on SAT tests? Their parents give them books, fancy trips, lessons and

Nervous Oral Testing

'This test doesn't understand me.'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

Examinations.

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Empty Headed Schoolboy

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

Your granddaughter is studying for SATs. Oh really? Ahem! What did you get on your practice tests? Drool.

Good Luck with your finals.

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

I downloaded some SAT practice tests. I'll time you. Ok. Ready. "If Ann spends every day obsessing over stupid tests,

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

Student in the middle of an exam realises he has accidentally picked up dumb water.

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

'How do you explain these terrible verbal SAT scores?'

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

Contest to enter the University

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

"Does school really help people with real life?"