Doom Prepper Gifts

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

'If the global economy goes bust, there's a middle east war, and ocean levels rise. . .our 'Armageddon fund' will do just fine.'

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

The End is Nigh

'Relax. This is only a test.'

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Disasters

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

doom.com

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

When a nanosecond is forever.

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

'Took longer than I thought it would.'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

A Dow Jones Industrial Average Correction Is Near

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

"Don't sweat the huge stuff."

"Actually, I will have fries with that."

Safe harbour

I survived end of the world after party.

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

Mr. Science Times