Territorial Tales Gifts

"You're sitting in my place!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

Welcome to Stratford-On-Avon...Birthplace of William Shakespeare...Park not here, lest ye be towed!

Knights of the bedside table.

"You're about to learn what New York hot dogs are made from."

"So far, my luggage has had a more exciting vacation than I have!"

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

The Tennis Racket in the Stone

'Alsace-Lorraine - What did YOU get for Christmas?'

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

My tail's cold.

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

What brings you to Canada? None of your beeswax. Border. Business, pleasure, asylum or melodrama? Huh? Our newest category. Donald Trump eats kittens! Ashton Kutcher. Melodrama, next!

Benefits of Living Abroad

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

"I had that James Herriot bloke in the back of my cow the other day..."

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"Hey, buddy, wouldn't the Grand Canal be faster?"

'If you didn't know how long a cubit was, you should have asked...'

'When I asked to go somewhere nice and warm, I didn't mean inside your trendy jumper.'

'Price check on taxi ride to Seventh Avenue and Belmont!'

'Oh, one of those tough guys with a mustache, eh?'

Keep off the Grass.

'He wouldn't need to walk for exercise, if he had a tail to wag.'

"When we said 'Lead us not into temptation,' we didn't mean it had to be a DESERT!"

The Star Guides the Three Wise Men (The Holy Bible).

'Not you again. I thought you would've learned your lesson the last time.

'You know I've always told you you were the last of the Mohicans? Well, there was this sqaw...'

Troll Crossing