Territorial Talker Gifts

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Rubbish and Everest

Dustbin monster.

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

'Alsace-Lorraine - What did YOU get for Christmas?'

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

We're polishing our brand.

Preserved

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"I see you have experience marking territory."

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

Bin Inspector

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"Did you order takeout?"