Tail Talker Gifts

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"It get it – you're hungry."

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"He's already getting attached to you."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

Aladdin's Less Magic Carpet Ride.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

Lady walking a dog with a big tail.

'Filthy Earthlings got here before us!'

Rubbish and Everest

Good boy

Dustbin monster.

"Thanks for your concern, and yes, I'm a rescue dog, but that's my actual job title: I rescue people..."

"The key to success is knowing what people want. Too bad it isn't knowing what people don't want."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

"You've opened my eyes to the most disgusting worldly delights."

Bin Inspector

Environmental Protection Agency. Scott Pruitt, Administrator.

We're polishing our brand.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Two cats making a heart shape with their tails

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

"Did you order takeout?"

It's on. My new favorite game show! Welcome to: Garbage, recycling or compost?! Dana from New York you can walk away with $10,000 or try to double the green! Double, please. Okay, Dana, here's your object: A takeout container from a local restaurant. Garbage, recycling or compost? Geez. I'm guessing it would depend on whether it's got some cardboard or it's fully biodegradable. Final answer? Recycling. Wrong. Garbage! I knew it. Ridicule her! You've lost your green, loser! I'm sorry. I try so ha

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

"As I see it, the issue with dog-walking services is that the pace is dictated by whoever is slowest..."

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

"Today no one, and I mean no one, could get the sneakers out of my mouth..."

"Hello? I`d like to report a missing person..."

Wetlands Environmental Reserve - Sensitive Area - Please keep your comments to yourself.

My tail's cold.