Termite Whisperer T-Shirts

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

The termites mated!

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Speed Dating for Turtles

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

The Worm Charmer

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

'Now it fits.'

'Do worms feel pain? Of course not! As a matter of fact...'

Mantis Love

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

Save the whales. . . Save the pandas. . . Save the planet.

'My goodness,Ralph,let him have it.It's only a measly old meal worm.'

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'Look what I've got, Dad - Can I keep it?'

Biodiversity

'I could eat you.'

"I hear they serve Australian swamp rat in first."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

'Nice jingle!'

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

David Attenborough's Morning

'Let's see. One dozen red wigglers, two dozen nightcrawlers,three dozen crickets. Want flies with that?'

'Do I remember pre-decimal coinage?I remember pre-Tudor coinage!'

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

"I'm in disguise."

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

Sorry, I only eat organic, fair-trade, shade-grown, biodynamic, raw dirt.

Birds with Headphones