Termination Gifts

"Recent studies indicate you don't work here anymore."

"You constantly saying 'I'll see you Monday' won't change the fact that you're fired."

"After ten years at the company, the boss finally noticed my work...he fired me!"

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

'Do you have any properties with a termite infestation?'

Aedes and Coronavirus perfect storm

'What makes you think we have a radiation leak?'

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

"I see the man who invented autocorrect has died."

'Nepotism will no longer be an issue. I'm disowning you.'

A Kangermoo

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Surprise Party

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

Mother nature mourns the state of the world.

"What am I up to? I'm collecting human rubbish floating on the ocean and I'll dump it in front of their parliament!"

Viet Nam: Highly Contagious Variant

"I gave you the axe. How dare you come back and use it to intimidate me."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"Edwin wasn't particularly good at interpreting female body language, but in this case it was easy."

"Wait! You can’t leave ... who am I going to blame stuff on?!"

"Now there's one less conspiracy theorist in the world - or is there?"

'Wait a sec here! This is a parachute, but it's NOT golden!'

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

'Power suits are great for up-and- comers. For you, I recommend the wrongful dismissal suit.'

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

"I've always thought it was eerie. He expired the same day as his Visa card."

'Are you going to keep that silly mustache for all eternity?'

'Speak properly son, you're not texting now...'

"Enough with the drama."

"Take this with a grain of salt, Birnbaum, you're fired."

'Ooops. I hit a hair pocket.'