Lease Termination Gifts

"You do realize you're not getting your security deposit back, right?"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Honey, the neighbors have persuaded me to stop coming out into the hallway every morning to play 'reveille'!'

"I rented out the basement."

"The only reason I'm firing you for your suggestion is because you signed yours."

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Nepotism will no longer be an issue. I'm disowning you.'

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

Surprise Party

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

"Looks like Jonesy got his walking papers."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

'You remember Mr. Horton? You know, the one you said to give the 'clean desk' award to? -- you fired him three years ago.'

"We need to be careful."

"You constantly saying 'I'll see you Monday' won't change the fact that you're fired."

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

Turtle Eviction

"I gave you the axe. How dare you come back and use it to intimidate me."

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"After ten years at the company, the boss finally noticed my work...he fired me!"

"Edwin wasn't particularly good at interpreting female body language, but in this case it was easy."

Now that you're awake, pack up your stuff. -Your former boss.

'Wait a sec here! This is a parachute, but it's NOT golden!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Power suits are great for up-and- comers. For you, I recommend the wrongful dismissal suit.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'