Relationship Termination Gifts

"'Holy cow... She can't spell for #!@*. Is that a 'T' or an 'L'? This entire letter is a grammatical nightmare!"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Hollywood Breakup

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"It could never work between us."

"Sorry Frank, but I can no longer go on with this charade. Not only am I not your best friend, I'm not even sure if I like you at all."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

Ereptile Dysfunction

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

I'm sorry, Dick. I think we should start seeing other demons.

Generation Ex.

'Don't take it the wrong way, we could always be friends'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"It's not you—it's natural selection."

"You constantly saying 'I'll see you Monday' won't change the fact that you're fired."

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

Maybe I was wrong?

The final all-toast supper at apartment 5-B

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

It's just not going to work. I'm looking for a mole with more tunnel vision.

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"I wanted this to work, too James, but it's time we accepted it - I am entirely grass and you are clearly some part of the cat's face."

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

"After ten years at the company, the boss finally noticed my work...he fired me!"

The sunsets on Barry and Beryl's relationship:'Very funny Beryl, but you better dig me out now...'