End Of Lease Gifts

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Your lease is up" threatening letter.

Computer Room.

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

'Remember, Edward, inside every 'F' student is a 'D' student trying to get out.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

Do your research!

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Procrastinator Foumdation: 'We're putting off the decision to fund you for at least another month...'

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Now showing, at a University near you...

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Type A Freshman - changed courses four times, got a job, organized a protest, quit the job, plans to take second semester abroad.

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"I figured out how to raise my grades."

Aerodynamics Lecture room.

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Well, sure. We could hire some Temps, but they only live about ten days."

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

Examinations.

"When did Shakespeare die? Well it must have been a couple of days before his funeral..."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"If something that doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, then I should be Atlas!"

"I started a collection!"

Pull an all-nighter?

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

Need an elevated state of mind too!