Signing A Lease Gifts

'Well so much for not needing a break clause in the lease.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

The new contract didn't leave him much room to maneuver his hoverdesk.

"She signed a prenup promising not to eat me and then ate the lawyer."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

Don't forget to read the small print.

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

'Third sentence, second one over...what does that word mean?'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

"His cell is a TV remote, his diplomas are elevator inspections, his computer's an Etch-a-Sketch -- but his contract's iron clad."

Miss T-T

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

"And you sign here..here...and here.."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

'What the large print in this contract gives you, the small print takes away, and then some.'

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

Locked Agreements

"Your client's already agreed to sign for £75,000 a week and a new house - now he also wants a big party when he's 18?"

'Don't you hate it when, two hours after you sign for the mortgage, your complimentary ball-point pen breaks?'

Man with a piggy bank in a car with 'Just Leased' written on the back.

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.