Lease Signers Gifts

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Author of 'The Big Pop-up Book' popping up out of a folding table.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'Mr. Fitzburger, didn't we agree on a no-pets-in-the-apartment policy?!!'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

a new hire signing a loyalty oath

3:00 pm - Meet the author

A man sits behind a table in a book store with a sign that reads "Take the author to lunch 1 P.M."

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Ok, we've rented the whole building ... oops, they just put on another floor.'

'It's ok, he's signed - release his children.'

'Arbor day? I never thought about giving gifts for Arbor day... well sure! I'll take 11 more!'

Meet the Oar-thor.

'Interesting - although the plot lacked depth perception.'

"Good autobiography, but I preferred your memoirs."

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

'Meet the Author!'

'I'm terribly sorry, I've forgotten my fluffy pencil case!'

Meet the First-time Novelist....

Meet the Author of 'Fishing is Easy'!

"Oh, it's called a fireplace. I'm not sure what fire is, but look how cozy."

"I just hope you had to labor as hard to write it as I did to finish it."

The author will be signing books for fifteen minutes.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Mystery Writer's Book Signing...Tell the Author How You Could Have COme Up With A Better Ending, 4-6pm.