Lease Negotiators Gifts

'The landlord's here, and he looks hungry!'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Changing Minds

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

'So we're agreed: we'll go to mediation.'

Overdraft limit.

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

We pay the maximum minimum wage.

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

'Sub lease' and 'Executive suite' putting money into a smug piggy bank

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

"If it gets tense in here I might need you to step up and BS-calate things."

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

Sports Lawyers

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

'I understand yours is a highly coveted position in this company.'

"But it will never get better if you picket"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

'Sometimes it's good to get a different perspective.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'