Rental Renegotiator Gifts

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Dad, this is Wendy, she's going to re-negotiate my allowance!"

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Let's face it, Dad. If you really thought I was my own man, you'd give me a raise in my allowance."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'I know that other kids manage on ?5 pocket money - but their parents don't charge them to watch any television programme their parents don't happen to approve off!'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'I'm worth more than $3,000 as a federal income tax exemption. So how about a raise in my allowance?'

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

Perhaps a ceasefire is in order. Terms? I will agree not to pummel you for forgetting our anniversary. You will refrain from pursuing the possibility that I, too, have forgotten it. You will, furthermore, massage my feet in penance for denying me a reason to yell at you. Non-negotiable! Got off easy.

Sports Lawyers

'How about giving me one of those useless fivers you're always moaning about,Dad?'

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

Tunnel of Begrudging Compromise.

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

'A raise in my allowance is fine, dad. But what I'm really after is power of attorney.'

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'Since it's falling on me to help pay off the budget deficits when I grow up, I think you need to increase my allowance, Dad!'

"I appreciate you keeping up with the vernacular of the times, but please refrain from referring to the billion-dollar restructuring as 'The Dealio'."

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."