Routine Renegotiator Gifts

Raymond froze. As he stared into the mirror, he bean to realize the truth about himself. The truth he had been denying for far too long... It had finally happened. He was completely washed up.

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

'What if I promise not to look?'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"Just sign it, or I'll post YOUR old report cards on social media."

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'So who gets the apple tree and who gets the fig leaves?' 'The First Prenuptial Agreement.'

"I'll abandon my medium-and shorter-range missiles if you'll abandon yours."

'My motto is 'What happens at this company, stays at this company'. That's why I take your performance and keep your wage.'

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'Um...Excuuuse me?! Apparently you've forgotten the household peacekeeping policy.'

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

"My client, whom I shall refer to as your son, has retained me to represent him in these negotiations regarding an increase in his allowance!"

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

Big Deal/Done Deal.

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'See, it's right here in the prenup. Just because I rise, it doesn't necessarily mean I have to shine.'

"Come on dad, there's no need to go all 'Successiony' on me."

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'