Remote Renegotiator Gifts

Finish the windows and you can have the TV remote back!

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

'Should-do and shouldn't-do sound a lot alike.'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

'You've got just 2 minutes to pack then you are on OUR time and I'm going to start charging you rent!'

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'It must be a risky proposal... legal is running it by their lawyers.'

"I got it from eBay."

"No screen time means more scream time."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

'Well, Helen, you were right - our marriage contract does include an option year.'

'And do you, Rob, promise to love and cherish Simone, even if she earns more than you do?'

"Could you please refer to this as a merger rather than being in cahoots?"

Big Deal/Done Deal.

"Ambitions . . . never, ever to eat broccoli again."

'YOU'RE the hostile - takeover group!?'

'Our lawyer insists on it as part of our due diligence provision.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

'But I can't go to bed yet, Mom. Kids watch an average of seven hours of TV a day, and I've only watched five and a half hours.'

"I'm just taking your advice and using every opportunity I can to make money."

'I assume this comes with performance based bonuses and a superannuation package?'

"Mr. Tilson will suffer you gladly now."

'It's just a scratch. I can still handle dessert.'

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

A Young Girl And Her Pet Cat.

"You always said I could be what ever I want to be. I want to be someone who doesn't eat vegetables."

'It's his bath night, but he also wanted to watch tv.'

'I flatly refuse to give him fringe benefits before dinner!'

"I know we have an arrangement, Gayle. Now I want a rearrangement."

"When you're President, then you can watch six hours of television a day."