Tenant Troubles Comedian Pillows

"Of course, the current tenant will be gone before the first of the month."

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Complaints at the Beehive Condo

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"We've decided to cut back and have Christmas every other year."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

"Of course under your new contract the requirement for you to provide 24 hour cover is optional...you could also opt for 36 or 48 hours!"

"Broken chairs, unmade beds, porridge everywhere... and a one-star review. Worst Airbnb customer ever."

The lessor of two evils.

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed."

bound by restrictive covenant

Valentines for Real Estate

"And with this, nuptial contract, independent inventory and itemised bill...I thee wed."

'Water is included with rent.'

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"Mum, I can't find my camouflage jacket."

'Beats me why I took this place. No en-suite, no walk-in robe and no dining room!'

"I'll carry you over a regular threshold, darling, as soon as the housing market improves."

"Working late, my foot! You reek of pollen!"

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

'A thief stole your key? Rats, I'll have to change the lock and reissue keys to the thousands of tenants...'

'I see this one is detached. Yes, the ones on either side fell down.'

'...There's been a 20% rise in the length of time our house been on the market'

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

"Were you aware you'll need to sign over your wife & kids as collateral in order to secure this property?"

'I'm afraid the Christmas party has been cancelled on cost grounds...but the good news is that the boss has said you can still come in and photocopy your bottoms!'

Mime tip #37: The noisy upstairs neighbors won't hear your invisible broom knocking.

'In your price range I could find you a very nice tent.'