Property Comedian Pillows

"They do say it's a real sun trap in the late afternoon.."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Pest Control

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Efficiency tombs available"

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

"I've just been gazumped!"

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'

'Oh, look, honey - the master closet has a walk-in bedroom!'