Property Humor Fan Pillows

"The HOA doesn't like our rock arrangement."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Mouse real estate!

An exaggeration of estate agents

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"Well, it is a good property. The price is low because it is harder to negotiate due to its S-bend configuration."

'A great location and only one step from the beach.'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'Is the fire included?'

House for sale, appliances included (in the yard).

'Bless. Wayne's made his first affordable home sand estate.'

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Real estate.

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"I've just been gazumped!"

Affordable housing

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

"And you thought I couldn't find Hudson River views in your price range."

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

"How much are they for my rent? About three times a week!"

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."