Property Pun Enthusiast Pillows

''Deceptively Spacious'? Well, er, that basically means that if it looks any bigger than a broom cupboard then your eyes are deceiving you!'

Estate Agents.

'How do you like it as a whole?' - 'As a hole it's fine. As a house it's lousy.'

'For rent'

'Not much of a house I hear you say...you should have read the ad more carefully...it said, some assembly required.'

"And here's the basement – or as I see it, the poor man's French Riviera."

"No, you'll realise that isn't a 'spelling mistake' once we start the viewing."

"Grandma is included in the purchase price."

"Getting them to move out of home these days is damn-near impossible!"

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

' I tried to get on to the property ladder.'

'I thought this house sounded a bit cheap.'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'Well it was here yesterday... the owner might of taken it down for security reasons'

"I'm hoping to move up the property ladder and get a three-seat bench."

'We did have a house in your bracket, but we sold it in 1932.'

'Like I said - this property is only a stone's throw from the ocean!'

'We did have something in your price range, but the Big, Bad Wolf blew it down.'

Bank Owned

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

"One day, my boy, all this will be retirement homes."

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

"Look, son, real estate."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"I think we could be very happy here until we aren't."

'Honey, it's the escrow people. They want to know if you could send a stool sample.'

Mouse real estate!

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."